It’s important to keep in mind that as appealing as
amazing sexual chemistry is, it isn’t going to make or break your
relationship. Don’t sweat it if your sex life doesn’t feel effortless;
that’s completely normal.
But if you’ve got matching libidos, that’s
just icing on a cake. There’s probably a better, less sexual metaphor to
use there, though.
1. You can communicate verbally and wordlessly.
Two souls sharing one body is magical, or whatever. Whether you can
somehow spit out the perfect dirty talk that nails down exactly what you
want, or you can just look your partner in the eye and swear you have
telekinetic powers, you've got communication locked down.
2. There’s deep trust. Good sex
and trust go hand in hand. There’s the obvious: knowing your partner is
using protection, that they’ve been up front about STD testing, and that
they’re not going to suddenly spring anything on you. But it’s also
about trusting that they know your body, that they respect you, and that
there’s no judgment.
3. You don’t mind experimenting.
That trust gives way to an environment where you can mess around, dip
your toes into the water of a few unexpected new sex things you saw in Fifty Shades,
and try out a toy or two without screwing things up. You trust the
other person to put a stop to anything they don’t like. You might
surprise each other with what winds up turning you on. And all this
means the sex can never really get boring.
4. You’re both ready to go at a moment’s notice.
It’s insane how quickly you turn each other on. If you’re ever
hard-pressed for a quickie, it’s like you’re a sex pit crew. You work so
well together.
5. Sex never feels like a chore.
You never feel like you’re in a rut, or like you’re having sex just to
have sex, or because one of you is horny and the other one figures they
might as well. Your sex is frequent and it usually feels natural.
6. You never take it too seriously.
You can laugh at dumb accidents like falling off the bed. No one is
mortified when you start your period mid-coitus or he lets a fart slip
out. It’s sex. It’s weird, it’s fun, it’s amazing and sometimes awkward.
8. You can talk it out. You can talk it out before, during, and after. Talking about sex never feels cringey or awkward.
9. You make each other feel wanted. You
feel sexy during sex. That might sound pretty obvious but it’s not
always the case. The way your partner looks at you, touches you, and
makes you feel turns you on because you know they’re turned on, and that
turns them on, and the cycle continues until orgasm.
10. You know that none of this is really that important.
You don’t overthink anything. If all the elements fit together, great.
If they don’t, you’re still going to have fun having sex. And that’s
what’s most important.
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